North Baltimore Public Library
Imaginary Kids Book Titles We’d Like to See
Bad Puns by Terry Bull
Boring Midwestern Cities by Cole Lumbus
Children's Songbook: Skip Tumalu
Cold Weather Activities by Rosie Cheeks
Cooking with Hot Dogs by Frank Furter
The Leaves of Autumn by Ray King
May Flowers by April Showers
Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago
Musical Gunfighters by The Okay Chorale
Monkey Shines by Bob Boone
Off To Market by Tobias A. Pigg
Pilgrim Settlers by May Flower
Rapunzel, Rapunzel! by Harris Long
Say The Magic Word by Abby Cadabra
Silly Rabbit by Trixie R. Forkids
Skunks in the Garage by P. Yew
Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep
Never Kiss a Cat by Claude Face
Women Pirates by Peg Legg
Tug of War by Paul Hard
The Tyrant Potato by Dick Tater
You're Kidding! by Shirley U. Jest
You're So Sweet: Mable Syrup
On The Lighter Side: News You Wanted To Hear
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. A bean is a
vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. More vegetables.
Chocolate also contains milk, which is a dairy product. Milk is healthy for you.
Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit. Fruit is healthy to eat.
Conclusion: Chocolate is good for you.
At These Temperatures...
+ 32 - Water freezes.
+ 30 - Michiganians roll down shirt sleeves.
+ 25 - Canadians still go swimming in Lake Erie.
+ 20 - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
+ 15 - Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
+ 10 - put on warm shirts.
+ 5 - Canadians close the bedroom window at night.
0 - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
- 5 - Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
- 10 - Rednecks stick tongue on metal objects.
- 15 - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
- 20 - You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
- 25 - Keys freeze in car door locks.
- 30 – Ice cubes fall from the sky.
- 40 - Kentuckians freeze.
- 50 - Chicago Bears fans drink hot cocoa at the game.
- 60 - Congressional hot air freezes.
- 70 – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
- 80 - Polar bears move south.
- 90 – Your pets plan a visit to South America, with or without you.
-100 - Hell freezes over. Cleveland Browns defeat Detroit Lions to win the Super Bowl.
What does Hagrid use on the 18th hole of the Hogwarts Golf Course?
His Harry Putter.
What do you call a campground for spiders?
A Web site.
Question: How many Librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: (With a perky smile) I don’t know, but I can look it up for you.
The lady Composer could only compose music in 3/4 time. She had waltz timer's disease.
One Sunday afternoon D'Artagnan and the Three Musketeers played a game of touché football.
News flash! 500 hares have escaped from the pet store. The police are combing the area.
News Flash! Ship containing 25,000 yo-yos sinks off New York coast - 26 times.
News Flash! Fire in video studio. No film at 11:00!
The first discussion on Global Warming:
1st cave man to 2nd cave man: "I don't care what you say. We never had such unusual weather before they started using bows and arrows."
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
Some Real Exam Answers about Weather:
"Equator: A menagerie lion running around the Earth through
Africa."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the
moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I
forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them
perspire."
"I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that
is the important thing."
"Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back
into a sun in the daytime."
Silly Links
Cybersalt - Clean Laughs Clean laughs.
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